It’s Thanksgiving Eve, and the same thoughts have plagued my mind for weeks. Several people asked if I was ready to celebrate Thanksgiving, and honestly, I haven’t quite been in the holiday mood/spirit. When I think of this time, I reflect on memories of a past where almost every major happening, holiday or not, was a time where my family was together. After dealing with the loss of my grandfather, I was hoping that it would bring us closer because that’s just the kind of guy he was. Family was everything to him… Right now I’m picturing his face with that huge smile happy to see us all together. Sadly, that doesn’t occur as much as it used it, but I pray that one day (hopefully soon) everyone will be able to put their differences aside and just come together. He’d never want it to be like this..

I’ve had this conversation with a few people as I voiced my opinion about being over the holiday season since my family doesn’t quite act like a family, and several people told me to just acknowledge the good and pray that it’ll get better. I’ve been praying/conversing with God since my grandfather passed away in 2009… Am I doing it wrong? Or am I not doing what I’m supposed to be doing to help the situation?

Oddly, at church on Sunday, the sermon was “Thanksgiving” but it was more so along the lines of how we have to let go of personal feelings towards people/situations and move forward to help them grow from their current state. Maybe this is when I am supposed to be making that move to better the situation since all of the signs have been here as of late… Maybe my grandfather is sharing his usual smile and wisdom at my attempt to pull this family together. I just need some serious help here… It hurts…


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