Ever Wonder What it All Really Means…

Vivid depictions… Realistic scenarios… Breathless moments… Gut-wrenching events…

DREAMS! You ever wonder what it all really means?

As of late my sleep has been off, and I don’t understand why. It seems as if I am suffering from insomnia: unable to sleep any time before 4:00am. However, my sleep is usually short, lasting at most 2 hours before having to somehow make myself fall back to sleep or just staying awake until the next night (morning). Recently, my dreams have been some of the craziest, most realistic dreams I have ever had, besides a recurring dream I’ve had since I was about 8 or 9 years old.

Three nights ago, I had a dream that scared me, and I woke up breathing really heavy having to calm myself down. Besides the obvious randomness, the ending of the dream was very saddening, and I couldn’t even imagine going through it. It began with me hanging with a friend from high school: George King. He and I were discussing throwing a party for his girlfriend Luwanne, who was something like my best friend in high school, a surprise birthday party. That alone was random, because I barely talk to them and I seriously believe the last time I saw them was in 2004. But the dream took a turn… It went from harsh laughs and great ideas to tears and pure hurt. It all felt so real… I received a phone call in my dream, that if it had happened now, would change my life forever. My best friend’s mother called hysterical, and suddenly my laughter turned into screams and continuous flow of tears. She told me that my best friend, who has been my best friend since 4th grade had died. All she could do was scream, and it felt like we were battling for who could scream the loudest… Everyone kept touching me, asking what was going on, and I couldn’t even bring myself to say it… I woke up with my hands on my face as if I had been trying to wipe the tears in my sleep. That dream had me shook, and I could barely think about anything else for the rest of the day.

A few weeks ago, I had a chance to hang out and really talk with someone. I used to, well I still do, love him… It was great spending time with him, but he has a girlfriend, and I respect that. After a day full of confessions and communication that lacked when we were working on whatever we were working on, I had the CRAZIEST dream that I met his girlfriend in the worst manner ever. She walked into a restaurant and saw us together, and had a Lynn Whitfield “Thin Line Between Love and Hate” moment coming after him and then turning her rage on me. She was crying and upset asking me why I couldn’t tell her about me and him. Then she was ranting about how she knew that he and I weren’t over each other and it was her fault, and all of this other mess. It was ridiculous… I woke up looking around. Made me feel bad for something I didn’t even do…

I also had this crazy dream that I was in an African American Studies class at Rutgers University with all of the people from Camden that I follow on Twitter… STRANGE! We were in class and the professor asked a question about the African American Brand, whether good or bad, how could we build on it and have a positive impact on our community. Somehow, an argument started between Jay Jay and Marcus. Marcus started making jokes about Puerto Ricans, so Jay Jay retaliated… Rafiah, Ky, Joi, Louis, Chantelle, Imani, Mark, Jamir, Deez, and Laura started instigating in more, so everyone was laughing and making jokes all crazy… But for some reason, I put headphones on and started writing….

Then, last night, I dreamed about being at basketball practice: high school basketball practice. Mrs. Ellerbe and Coach Grier (R.I.P.) was coaching us. It was all of the people who were on the team with me in 11th grade. She had us hustling really hard running all of these drills. Qiana and I started arguing over a play. She made us run again… Patience, Dot, Leslie, and Myesha was talking about how all we ever do is argue on our team. We were running plays, and executing as if we were in an actual game. Dot had got fouled kind of bad, so we had “timeout”. Then Cheyanne, who never talked to me in high school, was asking me about a play and how she could make the pass better… Weird. Then we had team prayer, and Coach El said that no matter what, she was proud of us and our accomplishments thus far, but we’d achieve more if we came together as a unit, and not individually looking out for ourselves. It was as if she summed up all four years of my high school basketball life in that one sentence. But she wasn’t my coach in 11th grade… Hmmmm

You ever wonder why your dreams feel so real? Why are they so clear? What do they mean?

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