Being Single…

After surfing the web for some time and listening to some music while trying to figure out some issues here at work, I came across a post on missjia.com about being single, and it was kind of weird because I had just had this conversation with someone.

I hate the dreaded “Why are you single?” question…lol It’s not that I don’t know the answer, but in all honesty, if you’re trying to get with me let’s focus on what I can bring to the potential relationship. We can easily find this answer in our interactions with each other and even in general conversation without having to ask…We all know that at some point past relationships are brought up whether good or bad. I, on the other hand, tend to focus on what made me want to be in a relationship in the first place. I have no hate in my heart for anyone that I have ever dated or been in a relationship with. However, some people find it very hard to simply let go and move on, and in turn hinder any chances of building new relationships with other people.

We can pinpoint every ounce of a relationship that we may feel made it end badly or concern ourselves with behaviors our partner displayed that we didn’t agree with, but it doesn’t help us. Looking at a relationship, we have to also recognize what we may have done wrong even if we were the ones to end up hurt because of something stupid like cheating. That doesn’t mean that the end of the relationship is your fault, because the other person should have the respect and decency to make the right decisions, even if it is to break up with you. Then again, what is it about YOU that may be a reason for you living the single life? We all have our “reasons” for being single, and often times it’s the other people that we’ve come in contact with but never ourselves. We all know exactly why we’re single even if we just tell everyone… “I haven’t found anyone that I can connect with” or “Dudes just aren’t on my level” or “These girls are no good”…We all know that there is more to this simplistic view of the single life. Be honest…

I know why I am single, and it isn’t all based on what someone else has done to me. It’s more of a decision though I would love to be in a relationship…It’s just certain things that I have to allow myself to accept and some things about myself that I need to change…

I’m a very private person, and sometimes it gets the best of me. If I even liked you, you probably didn’t even know cause in actuality I am afraid of rejection…And that in itself is something I need to let go and allow myself to even feel confident in approaching someone that way…Besides, I tend to hold everything in, but I’m learning to express things a bit more.

I am hard on the outside but soft on the inside…I want that love that every girl dreams about, and when I find someone, I love hard. I want to be the woman of your dreams…A woman you’d be proud to have on your arm…

Another issue is, I hate having the “Why haven’t you had sex?” question…I’m sure sex is essential for people and will probably be for me one day. But I honestly like to get to know a person above anything else. I want to know everything about you…Favorite color, food…What you like/dislike…What makes you smile…I want share our deepest desires not sexual desires…And I could care less about your material posessions…I want to know you, the person on the inside that no one else ever cared to know or that you never cared to share with anyone else…I want to come to know, love, and appreciate YOU…

I am easily annoyed and I need to work on my patience…If I can talk to you everyday and have yet to get annoyed by something you have said/asked, we are making progress…lol I hate when someone says that they’d like to be friends first but next week they all on some “When will be together?” type ish…I apologize for the inconvenience, but I said I’d simply like to get to know you. I’m not even too sure that I see myself with you…Relax for a minute, there’s no need to rush. I don’t like the texts “You’re too good for me huh?”, “You always too busy for me”…Please, I make time for people who would probably care less to make time for me, and I apologize for going to school and having a full time job and spending my free time with you even I don’t see you everyday…However, the constant texts and back to back phone calls kind of piss me off but I appreciate your effort. It just becomes overkill sometimes…

Now if I text you (or call), and you don’t respond at all, at NO point in the day, don’t expect me to text you for AT LEAST a day and a half after that. I can’t stand being the one initiating contact but you clearly don’t have time for me, but when the shoe is on the other foot…I don’t come at your neck like “Oh you not fucking with me huh?”…I just suck it up! I don’t know what you’re doing…I know I’m a busy person so I don’t act like other people aren’t allowed to be busy!

Then again, I’m not the kind of person to want to be all up under you at all times and I don’t really feel the NEED to talk to you every day though I may WANT to talk to a few times a week…lol I am very stubborn at times, but I am a forgiver…lol I will forgive even the most evil person I come into contact with but it isn’t for them it’s for me. I can’t allow myself to give power to someone who doesn’t deserve it….You’re not going to dictate how I feel about life because you failed to be who I thought you would be. It is what it is, and if we aren’t together, even if it hurts, I’ll just smile and remember why I was in it from the beginning. That is all…Thank you for your time!

And finally…I know what I want and I won’t stop until I find it. I am not going to settle for someone or force someone to be with me. I am trying to make the best decisions in life, and I know that a lot of times I am pretty bad with providing people with my time the way that want it, which eventually ends with them telling me to move on or me just disconnecting all ties with this person…I’ve tried the being the everything you need kind of person and almost lost myself, almost compromised everything that I was working for, but I prayed about it and I came back to knowing myself, loving myself, and being comfortable enough with myself to look at the situation and seeing..”this isn’t what I need”…

So tell me what’s really wrong with being single? Do you know why YOU’RE single?

Have a blessed one friends!
Much Love,
Mira ♥

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