.::Something.Is.Missing::.

The morning of December 19, 2009, I received one of the most heart wrenching phone calls that I will ever receive in this life. It was my aunt…She called to tell me that my grandfather Sherman Spencer Hill, Sr. had a heart attack. I immediately broke down. I don’t think anyone can ever fathom what he meant to me…Not even 30 minutes later, my sister called back hysterical saying that he didn’t make it. I couldn’t even stay on the phone…I was lost, confused, and completely heart broken…I had just spoke to him the night before, and everything was fine. He was excited that I’d be coming to New Jersey to spend the holidays with the family and was going to head to the bank in the morning to make sure that I had more than enough to travel with.

My grandfather was a father to me…A best friend…Whenever I just wanted to have a laugh, talk about a situation, or talk about nothing, I called him. We spoke almost every day…I made it a point to keep in contact with him. It’s so hard right now to not be able to pick up the phone and hear his voice…It’s so hard to know that when I get out of church on Sundays, I can’t just stop by his house and sit for hours talking and laughing. He was my world….The connection we had could never be replaced…

I remember in high school, I would come home on Fridays and make sure that the house was clean just so I could run off to my Pop Pop’s house. When my friends were preparing for skating and other things, i was just trying to spend time with my grandfather…Going crabbing, waking up early on Saturdays to go to the flea market, learning how to cook, and just long conversation about everything…I loved every minute of it. I have plenty of memories to cherish….I just wish he was here because there are so many more memories that could have been created. I long to hear him say that he’s going to see a man about a horse, or that he’s broke busted and can’t be trusted. People say it gets easier with time, but as each day passes by, it seems harder and even more difficult to believe that he is gone. I know that death is inevitable…But it was just so sudden, and I never imagined my life without him [at least not so soon]. First my Granny, now my Pop Pop…It was jus a really rough year, and I just thank God for the strength to cope and be healed.


December 26, 2009…I had to face reality. I was still in shock, and I refused to believe that he was gone. That was so difficult…2 grandfather’s buried within a year of each other…My grandmother buried a few months before in July…It was just way too much! He just meant so much to me, and to see him lying in that casket just hurt…My heart still hurts. Everyday I yearn to hear his voice, and to hug him…If only I had come home on the 12th like I had planned, I could have hugged him one last time before he left…It’s a really tough time for me…And the more I try not to think of it, the more everything reminds me of him. I need to get away or something, but leaving New Jersey to go back to South Carolina isn’t going to help me…He understood my feelings about where I was and he would talk to me and keep me motivated to staying there to finish what I started. I knew that I should’ve stayed in New Jersey when I had the chance, when he agreed…I have to keep that in mind to move on and finish. I know that’s what he’d want me to do…

Sherman Spencer Hill, Sr. was more than a grandfather to me. He was a best friend…Someone that I could laugh and joke with. He was my Pop Pop…A man who cared deeply about his family and worked hard to make sure that we always had what we needed…He was the true definition of what love is meant to be. He was a beautiful person inside and out, and I thank God for giving me 23 years of life to spend with him. There isn’t ANYTHING or ANYONE that could EVER replace what he was or what he will ALWAYS be to me! A piece of me is missing right now, and I know that in time I will be healed…In time I’ll be able to look back and smile at the memories, and even when a tear drops I’ll understand that it’s just happiness from those wonderful times we spent together.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU….Rest in Peace Pop Pop ♥

Be Blessed Friends
Mira ♥

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One Response to “.::Something.Is.Missing::.”

  1. Sorry to hear this, may he rest in peace..

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