Domestic Disturbance

Yesterday morning I learned of the tragic death of a 12 year old little boy. Listening to knews caused many thoughts to wander through my mind. Thoughts of my past, and of the future of our children. I remember growing up and having to come into the house before the street lights came on. Coming in any time after that was not acceptable…Granted, I’ve never had a beaten, the sheer thought of the consequence made me a “punk” lol. But on a more serious note, this boy was shot in his face and the bullet traveled to his brain. This occured around 11:30pm, which I am still trying to figure out why he was outside at this time. What is even more disturbing is that his body was found that night shortly after by a 5 year old. What is happening to the structure/order the family once had. Is it no longer important?

I must admit, there were some times where my cousins and I would be outside a little late during the summer. Mainly on the front steps of my grandmothers house, but we were usually together. I know times have changed, and people have obviously lost respect for life because so often do we here of homicides. Our children need more to look forward to than a coffin. Forget about the lifestyles and lets focus on life right now. Materials mean nothing when you are not living. Have parents lost control of their children or are people becoming more lazy as times go by. There isn’t a book of parental instruction that explains the rules of parenting, but I do believe that there is some sort of unwritten code that we all just know. Parents love unconditionally, they’re the authority figures we first come into contact with, and they provide us with the basic needs of life, including security. I’m not saying that at every moment of the day they can prevent bad things from happening to us, but they can prevent us from being harmed in the heat of the night. Not even just the parents, but they are the head and the lead example. If your example is irresponsible or supremely carefree what is left?

This saddens me because this isn’t the first time a small child was murdered during some odd nightly hour. Last year an 11 year old was killed outside of a Wal Mart around 1:00am. In first hearing the story, I thought that maybe they were walking out of WalMart, but the scene of the crime was close to the road in the parking lot no where near any cars. No details as to who he was with or why the people were out there were given. 1:00 in the morning? Do you know where your child is at night? Are you sure that the people you leave your children with are responsible or even have the right intentions to care for your child when you are not present?

These questions come to my mind as I not only worry about the child ending up in a coffin, but for fear that they will grow up with issues from having been abused or encountering any situation. I know what it’s like to see someone get shot, to lose a friend to violence, and to barely escape a situation that could have ended deadly. I am one of few who can probably say that they weren’t traumtatized by the situations, but they have shaped who I am. A few days after graduating high school I lost one of my closest friends to something so foolish. It’s crazy that in a blink of an eye a b.a.n. will rather pick up a gun and end your life rather than fist fight and lose with dignity. Better yet, not even fight but still have the anger in them to want to kill. It’s hard to burry a friend on their 18th birthday when life seemed to be getting better, and we were all looking forward to college.

What is the world coming to when little girls want to just go have sex and all they worry about is boys. Sure, we all have our boy craze phase, but is starting earlier these days. I had someone {15 years old} explain to me that she lost her virginity in a house with 6 boys and no adults. She says that she had sex with one boy, but who’s to say? The boys had no intentions in ever dating her, but she has so many issues with herself that she was just happy that he would pay her attention. Come on people, talk to your children. Who cares if you’re uncomfortable!?!?! I would much rather tell my child that she’s is beautiful everyday and talk to her about life. We’re always placed in uncomfortable situations, but when it’s your child you have the responsibility to teach them! You can’t neglect the obvious by buying them or simply ignoring the issues. That’s not going to help them especially if they don’t have anyone else that they can turn to for guidance. It starts at home!

In March of this year, I went to New Jersey for a few days just to visit my family. Nothing major, just wanted to see them. My uncle’s wife took my younger cousin to a party. I don’t have an issue with her hanging with friends, but I have an issue when you’re on punishment but your mother can bend the rules because she feels they’re unfair. What kind of order will she ever understand or follow if her mother continues to break that which my uncle has set forth. I mean if you have D’s and F’s I personally don’t think you need to be texting or out partying. If I was ever on punishment, my mother meant business and I had no choice but to indulge myself in schoolwork. My cousin told me that even though she was on punishment, she could have her cell phone on weekends. What message is that sending? Are there no real consequences when we do wrong? That night, I returned home around hmmm…roughly 4:00am. Explain to me why she was not in the house. The next morning while I was in the office finishing up some work that I put on hold on my trip, she came into the house. It was around 10:00am. Asked her where she had been, she claimed that she stayed at her friend’s, but I’m not too sure that I believe it. She’s very fast, and has self esteem issues and does a lot of unneccessary things to get boys attention. And there’s no talking to her, because her mother always interferes and not in the most positive ways. I talked to my uncle about it, and he had no idea she had been to a party, and because he works late her expects my aunt to take care of home when he isn’t there. Ha…wrong person to trust obviously because she didn’t even know that my cousin never made it home even though she was supposed to go pick her up. What made it worse was that during that night a friend of mine came to see me and we were sitting out front in the car, and she kept calling and texting me to make me come in the house. Excuse me? I am 22 and your daughter is 15…I am in front of the house. You don’t even know where your child slept at last night, please do not try to be all angry and yell at me because you’re mad that you don’t know what your child is doing. My mother did the parenting thing well as I was growing up! REFRAIN!

I don’t know…A lot of things bother me, and leaves me suspicious when I hear stories of children being injured and then we find that the parent/caretaker has no idea of what’s going on or why their child was outside at midnight. It’s hard enough to keep children safe in the daytime. We should definitely know of their whereabouts during the night. Children committing suicide, children being murdered…It’s all too much. Never would I have thought that I’d see the day when 10/11 year olds result to suicide as a result of bullying. Wow…we need to step it up on the role of family/friends/support/teaching/mentorship…Something has to change.

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