The Friend Box…

At some time or another we’ve all been placed in the “friend box” or have placed someone into the “friend box” If you have no idea what that is, maybe you just do not have any friends…lol Okay I am kidding, but I will break it down…

We’ve all had that friend of the opposite sex [same sex for some] who we may be attracted to or may be attracted to us. However, we always come up with excuses of why we cannot date them, when in actuality we are looking for someone to love us unconditionally while being both our friend and our lover. So why do we push those closest to us away? We usually turn to them when the person we’re pursuing has done something that bothers us, makes us cry, or made us smile. However, this person probably likes you, but you will continue to say, “Oh, he’s like my brother; I wouldn’t date him.” …”I can’t date her. She’s cool, but nah she’s just my friend.” Why not? What makes us not want to date the intelligent, sensual, respectful individual that we call a friend? Isn’t that what we look for…A friend and a lover all in one?

I can’t come up with some all high and mighty testimony as to why we shouldn’t, because I’ve been there. I’ve had a friend so cool, so nice, and just super respectful…But every time someone asked were we dating, I’d say “oh noooo…That’s my friend”. But as I look back at the situation, we would have been great together. We spent time together, we always talked, and he knew what I liked. On my 21st birthday {remembering that I am not a fan of red roses…everyone receives those…lol} I got to my apartment, and there was a surprise…Yellow roses & Kanye West’s “Graduation album. I called him and thanked him! It was very special and I appreciated that he even remembered a conversation from a year before. However, I insisted on chasing this fool…lol He isn’t a fool I guess…But whatever. I was busy chasing someone who now, I wish I would have just put in the “friend box”.

We constantly search for love in all of the wrong places. We’re attracted to what we can’t have, and distance ourselves from what could possibly be. Okay, sure he’s smart, quite nerdy, and probably goofy at times, but if he makes you smile, why neglect that? What’s wrong with having an intelligent nerd? Who came up with nerd anyway…It shouldn’t be “uncool” that someone wants to be smart. We shouldn’t block ourselves from happiness…Is it a fear of what others may think if you’re seen with him/her? If they’re your friend, it shouldn’t even matter. We all have this ideal mate, but more that likely no one will ever fulfill every single thing on our “list” because quite frankly no one is that perfect. If we begin to search for the good in people, we will eventually find it. We can’t always complain that the people we are dating aren’t about anything when we continue to brush off the good that’s coming our way.

On the other hand, I have dated my best friend. We’ve been friends since kindergarten…He was my first boyfriend. However, he was NOT my first kiss…But OUR first kiss was amazing. It was as if he waited his whole life for it when it finally happened. I don’t know…I feel so comfortable around him. Things didn’t work out…He moved away for a little bit, but we still kept in touch. He ended up having a lot of random girlfriends. His family constatntly tries to hook us up…lol The bad thing is that we always have this awkward tension when we’re in the same room…My friend says that it’s because we still love each other…lol I must admit that I was heartbroken when I found out that he had a baby…Because I had our life figured out, and I’d have his first child…hahahaha Okay I was in like 9th grade but so what…THROUGH IT ALL, HE’S STILL MY FRIEND! lol He’s there when I need someone to talk to, and even if isn’t available at that moment, he tries his best to make sure that I am okay and vice versa…

So how do you feel about the situation? Should we go with the flow? Is it bad to start dating friends {not the whole circle of friends, but you get me}? I mean the outcome may not always be great, but that’s a risk…And life’s about risks…Figuring out if the risk is worth being hurt over or learning more about yourself and what it truly is that you are searching for….Some people are meant to just be friends, but there’s that one friend that may one day be more…So let’s erase all of the idealistic, picture perfect mumbo jumbo, and find our perfect imperfection who will love us for who we are, be there through the good and the bad…Love will work it out!!!

Feel free to comment!

Lovies ♥
Mira =)


3 Responses to “The Friend Box…”

  1. BRAVO!!!!! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* *Applause!!* ( i know its the same thing… lol) Great . . . I am gonna put an Excerpt in my blog and point back to this… lol

  2. that was awesome! congrats!

    i can feel you. i’ve been in the friend box and put people in the friend box. from the door, kid told me he only wanted to be friends and i was heartbroken. while i was goin thru my mess with him, i put real dudes that wanted me in the friend box.

    it worked out for the best ’cause dude had a bad temper, but i have broken some hearts ’cause i did not “want” to date these dudes.

    i’m happy where i am now, but i wonder what my life would be like if i wasn’t made a “friend” and didn’t force others to be my “friends.”

    god has a plan for everything, but it’s up to us to be open-minded and go after the good instead seeking the glamour

  3. This is true! And a lot of people carry so much baggage, that they won’t even allow good things to come. We have to let the past be the past…Learn from it. What’s done is done and there is nothing we can do to go back and change an outcome. We just have to know what works and never make the same mistakes again…An open-mind gets you far so we must remove the mind forged manicles that we’ve placed our minds and begin to live life unblind!

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