I won’t say that it necessarily changed my birthday, but it surely changed the view people have of my birthday. I get asked how do I feel about 9/11 being my birthday often, and at times I find it annoying. Not because I am selfish or anything of that nature, but simply because I am tired of answering it. Most people look at me like I made it happen because I was born on that day… I’ve had someone say, “Oh you were born on 9/11, you’re a devil baby.” But most people just want to remind me that my birthday sucks. It was a sad day, I watched that second airplane hit with tears in my eyes… I watched as people panicked and tried their best to contact family members… I watched mothers cling to their children wishing they could do more to protect them from any harm in this world… I watched people try to escape death jumping out of the towers… It was sad then, and it’s sad now… I appreciate every day that I have on this earth, and I look at my birthday as a day to remember that any day could be the day that I am gone, so there’s no need to hold grudges, no need to not live, but instead I should remember those who lost their lives, pray for those families who are still trying to cope, pray for those overseas fighting for my freedom, and to always remember the day when the people of my nation stood together as ONE!

My birthday may never be what it was before 2001, but it will always be the day that I was born… A day to remember, and for many, a day to mourn… It’s been 10 years, and they’ve flown by so quickly… Every year we relive this moment. Every year it airs, and you see it happen all over again… Every year we cry as one…

Every year, it replays in my mind… I envision myself sitting in my 10th grade English class, and seeing that door open as people shouted that America was under attack… I remember going to music class, and watching my teacher speak with such strength at a time when everyone was scared and unsure of what would happen next… I’ll never forget the panic, I’ll never for the shock, I’ll never forget the pain… I’ll never forget the day I was born…

Peace, Love, and Happiness…
Be Blessed
TD Moore <3

I don’t regret loving you. I can’t even bad talk you. I allowed this to be… This is the last goodbye, and with a single tear in my eye, I’ll still smile.

I wasn’t built for that other woman life… My conscious exists and it definitely gets the best of me. So no matter how much I’d ever love this person, I had no choice but to say goodbye… We had been friends for years before testing this dating thing four years ago, but I don’t even think that we can remain friends… the situation is just crazy right now… It’s a terrible situationship!

So if you feel how I feel, hop on the “Girlfriends” train and sign the petition! Voice your opinion! And let’s get it back the way millions of fans got “The Game” to make a comeback!!!

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=130316913653087&topic=93

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Visit http://www.indiegogo.com/The-Last-Fall?c=home to help donate to Matthew A. Cherry’s first feature film “The Last Fall”. Just $5 will get you a Digital Producer credit, and there are other options as well!

Where can you learn more about the project?
Check out the film’s website at www.thelastfallmovies.com! There you can find a full synopsis of the story, filmmaker bios, their blog and daily video updates as talent is being attached and begin pre-production.

Sidebar: The film’s director, Matthew A. Cherry, former NFL player is listed in The Shadow and Act 2011/2012 Black Filmmakers to Watch http://blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/archives/the_shadow_and_act_2011_2012_black_filmmakers_to_watch_list/

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DREAMS! You ever wonder what it all really means?

As of late my sleep has been off, and I don’t understand why. It seems as if I am suffering from insomnia: unable to sleep any time before 4:00am. However, my sleep is usually short, lasting at most 2 hours before having to somehow make myself fall back to sleep or just staying awake until the next night (morning). Recently, my dreams have been some of the craziest, most realistic dreams I have ever had, besides a recurring dream I’ve had since I was about 8 or 9 years old.

Three nights ago, I had a dream that scared me, and I woke up breathing really heavy having to calm myself down. Besides the obvious randomness, the ending of the dream was very saddening, and I couldn’t even imagine going through it. It began with me hanging with a friend from high school: George King. He and I were discussing throwing a party for his girlfriend Luwanne, who was something like my best friend in high school, a surprise birthday party. That alone was random, because I barely talk to them and I seriously believe the last time I saw them was in 2004. But the dream took a turn… It went from harsh laughs and great ideas to tears and pure hurt. It all felt so real… I received a phone call in my dream, that if it had happened now, would change my life forever. My best friend’s mother called hysterical, and suddenly my laughter turned into screams and continuous flow of tears. She told me that my best friend, who has been my best friend since 4th grade had died. All she could do was scream, and it felt like we were battling for who could scream the loudest… Everyone kept touching me, asking what was going on, and I couldn’t even bring myself to say it… I woke up with my hands on my face as if I had been trying to wipe the tears in my sleep. That dream had me shook, and I could barely think about anything else for the rest of the day.

A few weeks ago, I had a chance to hang out and really talk with someone. I used to, well I still do, love him… It was great spending time with him, but he has a girlfriend, and I respect that. After a day full of confessions and communication that lacked when we were working on whatever we were working on, I had the CRAZIEST dream that I met his girlfriend in the worst manner ever. She walked into a restaurant and saw us together, and had a Lynn Whitfield “Thin Line Between Love and Hate” moment coming after him and then turning her rage on me. She was crying and upset asking me why I couldn’t tell her about me and him. Then she was ranting about how she knew that he and I weren’t over each other and it was her fault, and all of this other mess. It was ridiculous… I woke up looking around. Made me feel bad for something I didn’t even do…

I also had this crazy dream that I was in an African American Studies class at Rutgers University with all of the people from Camden that I follow on Twitter… STRANGE! We were in class and the professor asked a question about the African American Brand, whether good or bad, how could we build on it and have a positive impact on our community. Somehow, an argument started between Jay Jay and Marcus. Marcus started making jokes about Puerto Ricans, so Jay Jay retaliated… Rafiah, Ky, Joi, Louis, Chantelle, Imani, Mark, Jamir, Deez, and Laura started instigating in more, so everyone was laughing and making jokes all crazy… But for some reason, I put headphones on and started writing….

Then, last night, I dreamed about being at basketball practice: high school basketball practice. Mrs. Ellerbe and Coach Grier (R.I.P.) was coaching us. It was all of the people who were on the team with me in 11th grade. She had us hustling really hard running all of these drills. Qiana and I started arguing over a play. She made us run again… Patience, Dot, Leslie, and Myesha was talking about how all we ever do is argue on our team. We were running plays, and executing as if we were in an actual game. Dot had got fouled kind of bad, so we had “timeout”. Then Cheyanne, who never talked to me in high school, was asking me about a play and how she could make the pass better… Weird. Then we had team prayer, and Coach El said that no matter what, she was proud of us and our accomplishments thus far, but we’d achieve more if we came together as a unit, and not individually looking out for ourselves. It was as if she summed up all four years of my high school basketball life in that one sentence. But she wasn’t my coach in 11th grade… Hmmmm

You ever wonder why your dreams feel so real? Why are they so clear? What do they mean?

Click here to check out the trailer ====> http://www.iwillfollowfilm.com/media.html

If you are in one of the 15 cities, please take the time to check it out!! It stars Omari Hardwick (For Colored Girls), Balir Underwood (The Event), Salli Richardson-Whitfield (I Am Legend) …Amazing film!!

New York – AMC Loews 34th St

Chicago – AMC Ford City and AMC Country Club Hills

Los Angeles – AMC Criterion, AMC Marina Pacifica, and AMC South Bay

Atlanta – AMC Phipps Plaza and AMC Southlake

Seattle – AMC Southcenter

Philadelphia – AMC Loews (Cherry Hill, NJ)

San Francisco – AMC Metreon 16

Oakland – AMC Bay Street

Boston – AMC Boston Common

Dallas – AMC Mesquite

Houston – AMC Studio 30

Detroit – AMC Star Fairlane and AMC Star Southfield

Miami/Ft. Lauderdale – AMC Ventura

Charlotte – AMC Carolina Pavillion

Jersey – AMC Palisades and AMC Jersey Gardens

http://www.iwillfollowfilm.com/theaters.html <=== Click here to purchase tickets!

March 18th …GET YOUR TICKETS! SUPPORT! SPREAD THE WORD!!

Much Love!

Be Blessed <3
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Another awkward moment: I was sitting in the coffee shop not too far from my apartment where I go almost everyday to get a medium hot chocolate with whipped cream. This woman, who I’ve seen a few times, randomly asks “You from jersey?” rather loud. At first, I was reluctant to look up because I didn’t want to assume that she had been speaking to me, but she was. She proceeds to ask me what part of New Jersey I was from, and basically told me her entire life story and why she decided to move to Atlanta. I felt weird, and didn’t quite understand her excitement in finding out that I was the person driving the car with the Jersey tags…Not to mention, all of the people that began to stare, and I mean some heavy stares like they wanted us to take our New Jersey celebration back to New Jersey…

Awkward Moment #3: Walking into a birthday party with a male friend, and having everyone assume that the two of you are dating. smh A good friend of mine had a birthday party for her daughter, and I was hanging with a friend, so I asked him to come along. Well, besides feeling out of place because I didn’t know anyone there except my friend, her mother, and her boyfriend, her mom makes me feel more awkward as she puts me on the spot in front of strangers asking me about my friend. She assumed that he and I were dating, and was making jokes so all of these random people then wanted to know what the deal was. But there is no deal, my friend is gay and even if he wasn’t, he is far from being anyone that I could date…Just a lot to explain that doesn’t need to be explained…lol However, this didn’t stop them from thinking that I was making “googly eyes” at him when I asked if he wanted pizza… Nothing worse than a bunch of strangers and a close family friend trying to hook you up when there isn’t a love connection in view…

Awkward Moment #4: Growing up in Camden, I was quite used to carrying cash as it was necessary for corner stores, pizza shops, Chinese stores, Crown Fried Chicken, etc… Moving to South Carolina, I got used to being able to use my card for pretty much any kind of purchase. Considering that Atlanta is in the south and many places do allow the use of Visa, I ordered Chinese food the other day hoping to devour some shrimp and broccoli with some white rice, an egg roll, and 4 wings…Greedy I know but I wanted…Well I got there and they only took cash, and I had $0 on me! SUCKY! I walked in there and everyone looked at me crazy when I pulled out the Visa…lol

Fun times!

I am sure many people watched with hopes of seeing their favorite artists win this prestigious award(even though most were given before the actual show). However, many people did nothing but complain on twitter/facebook about EVERYTHING possible (And I’m NOT even talking about during the event…The next day too…lol). Why was there an Aretha Franklin tribute, but not a Teddy P tribute? REALLY!?!?!? They were honoring a living legend who has been in very bad health. She has won 18 Grammys herself, and has performed many times on the show. I don’t know if anyone noticed the collage of musicians/entertainers who had passed last year, but it was certainly too many,so how could the Grammy Association single out Teddy P and hold an entire tribute just for him? I didn’t mind the Lady Antebellum medley/tribute to him. I thought it was pretty cool of them to take the time to pay respect to him during their set. Apparently it was an issue of color though, because people wanted to know where singers like Jamie Foxx, Tyrese, Trey Songz, etc were because Lady Antebellum didn’t give them what they needed from a teddy P tribute. Oh well, I appreciate their efforts in even acknowledging him.

I never thought that the Grammy’s were a high school popularity contest as many people were upset because Esperanza Spalding won the Best New Artist category. I actually applaud the Grammy Association for actually stepping out this year and rewarding someone who may not be mainstream and widely accepted for her accomplishments. I don’t see any reason in getting upset because someone who’s talented and is a wonderful musician won an award. Who cares if your favorite artist didn’t win? It’s NOT that deep…It isn’t as if you voted for anything, and half of these people probably didn’t purchase an album.

One issue I did have though is that award shows are becoming all out concerts…Majority of the awards were given during the pre-show, and though I am all for being entertained, I actually want to see people walk up and receive their awards. The show was on for almost 4 hours…There is no reason that we couldn’t have seen some other people actually walk up to receive recognition for their work. I know it’s over 100 categories, but still…It would have been nice to see just a few more people receive an award. However, it was a pretty good show. Some people may need to expand their music instead of complaining about NOT having all rappers perform. The Grammy’s celebrate MUSIC as a whole…All genres, so if you ONLY care about one or two genres, maybe the show isn’t for you. If all you’re going to do is complain about not knowing who Miranda Lambert, Muse, Lady Antebellum, Esperanza Spalding, Arcade Fire, etc is, get over yourself…The Grammy Awards are NOT about you!

Congrats to the winners of all 109 categories!!

Oh and here’s a performance from Best New Artist winner Esperanza Spalding at the White House and from the 2010 BET Awards Prince Tribute:

Today was the first day in my life that I have ever doubted myself and my ability to do anything. I understand that there are some things that are out of my control, but I really just couldn’t deal today. The feeling was overwhelming, and I seemed to doubt myself in almost every aspect of my life. So I made the transition to Atlanta from New Jersey, and I am still adjusting. However, the job search has been quite hectic and in all honesty, I am scared. Scared that I won’t be all that my employer needs me to be…Scared that I may fail. I’ve never, in any situation, doubted my ability to do anything, but I am afraid to fail and not be everything I once thought that I could be.

As much passion and hard work I put in to work with youth, and the relationships/bonds I build with each one, why do I find myself incapable to achieve at this level? It is my passion, my desire, and dream to be someone who inspires my students to be better and to aspire to have all that they could ever want in life. So why am I at this stage in my life? I am 24 and clearly too young to be going through a mid-life crisis. Is this a pre mid-life crisis?
___________________________________________________________________________________

It’s been a while since I’ve given someone my love, okay not really. I actually spent a great deal of my time wasting time attempting to give someone unworthy all of my love. I allowed myself to be caught up in the idea of being with him, and not necessarily having my own best interest at heart. I played a fool for a while…

The idea of being in a relationship makes me doubt my ability to be someone anyone would want to be with. As cool, calm, caring, and loving as I am, I have doubts that I could truly make someone happy. What’s going on with me?

…I used to be sure of myself: A little more cocky and indulged in the fact that I was someone worth loving…lol In recent years, I haven’t really found anyone to give that time to (okay well I tried to give that time to someone)…Maybe this is why I feel incapable of fully loving someone or allowing them to love me. I am in fact someone worth loving? I have to feel it right?

My mind is spinning, and my thoughts have overtaken me in a not so great way… What the heck is doubt, and since when have I ever doubted myself?